Most business owners have had plenty of conversations that technically counted as networking and accomplished nothing. Polite small talk, a swap of elevator pitches, a promise to “grab coffee sometime” that never happens.
Then there are the other kind. The conversation where someone asks exactly the right question, or mentions the perfect contact, or shares a lesson that saves you months. Those are worth a lot. So what makes them different?
Both people are actually curious
Good conversations happen when both people want to understand the other’s business, not just explain their own. The questions are real: what are you working on, who do you love working with, what’s harder than you expected? And the answers get listened to.
Someone shares something real
Polished conversations stay shallow. Useful ones usually start when someone says something honest: “Our pricing isn’t working.” “I’m thinking about letting go of my biggest client.” “I have no idea how to hire.” That gives the other person something real to respond to, and usually invites the same honesty back.
Nobody’s pitching
The moment one person starts selling, the other one starts protecting themselves. Good business conversations aren’t sales calls. They might eventually lead to business, but that’s a byproduct of trust, not the goal of the conversation.
There’s room for specifics
“How’s business?” gets “Good, busy!” Specific questions get specific answers: “What’s your best source of new clients right now?” “What tool has actually saved you time this year?” “What would you charge for that?” Specifics are where the value is.
Someone offers something useful
The best conversations usually include a concrete give: an introduction, a recommendation, a template, a lesson from experience, or just a good question. Being useful is what makes people remember you.
Something happens after
A good conversation ends with a next step, even a small one. A follow-up email. An introduction. A resource sent over. Another conversation on the calendar. Without follow-up, even great conversations fade.
What gets in the way
- Rooms that are too big or loud for real talk
- Time pressure that keeps everything surface-level
- Formats that encourage pitching
- Waiting for the other person to go first
Where to have more of them
Small groups help a lot. So do norms against pitching, and a format that gives everyone time to talk. That’s why WEN Round Tables are designed the way they are: a handful of women running real businesses, on Zoom, actually talking.
Related reading: The Difference Between Advice and Insight and How to Network Authentically.
